
THEY OFFER a $5.99 express service as Los Feliz Car Wash,
3013 Los Feliz Blvd. Exterior only, no vacuum, no dash, but they hand wash and dry. Seems like a deal. But this
Atwater Village establishment insists on cash.
"Is the credit card machine down?" I ask yesterday. No, I'm told, Los
Feliz Car Wash enforces a minimum charge of $8.99 for credit-card transactions. I tell the cashier his demand
violates credit card merchant policies and would be reported. Then I relented, offered cash. (Hindsight?
Should go elsewhere. But my car's in the queue.)
Car Wash Guy takes my $10 bill, gives me change, but then suffers an abrupt about face. He tells me Los
Feliz Car Wash would not be honoring my transaction, even with cash. And recognizing the physical manifestations of a man becoming unhinged,
I start shooting video. Mostly as protection and eyewitness, though I see how someone might be antagonized by the business end of a cell-phone lens.
He starts to explain:
Car Wash Guy: I just don't want your business, that's all.
Me: How come?
CWG: It's a free world and it's a free business.
Me: You don't want my business because of the credit card policy?
CWG: No sir, I just don't want your business. It's because I don't like your attitude.
Me: You don't like my attitude, you said?
CWG: Yes sir. I'm an entrepreneur. I've got that right.
Indeed he does have a right to refuse service. But it gets more personal. About me. And about my camera phone:
CWG: Get that thing off my head before I knock it off.
Me: Did you just threaten to damage some property of mine?
CWG: All right, so let me get your money back, sir. Go check your head.
Me: What do you mean, like with a psychiatrist or something?
CWG: I don't know, I'm not in psychiatry business. I'm in car wash business.
Debatable. He refunds me $6 on the $5.99 car wash. Then, personal gets weird:
Me: Thanks for the extra penny.
CWG: I know you need it. I can tell.
Me: You can tell?
CWG: Yes sir. Have your car out of here or I'll have it towed.
Me: Are you the owner?
CWG: No. I'm an illegal alien.
Me: Oh, you are?
CWG: Yes. Go report that to immigration.

On it goes, 3 or 4 minutes.
CWG calls me a "f***
ing son of a bitch." Without seeming to enter a phone number, he reports to his cell that there's a "disturbance" by someone with a "
junky" car.
Then some beefy security guy shows up wearing a badge that looks like a toy. He's not employed by Los
Feliz Car Wash, just wants to call me a "f***
ing idiot." (And let me know my camera doesn't intimidate him; he's been on
TMZ!)
Alas, I take my "
junky" car a few blocks up to California Car Wash, 3940 San Fernando Road. Express service: $6.99. Credit card: accepted. No questions asked. No obscenities hurled.
ARCHIVE: Back in September 2008,
Los Feliz Car Wash charged $1 to run credit-card transactions of $8.99 or less. A practice like that seems to violate merchant policies and possibly California law.