The Home Depot Recency Effect

My new theory - formed by visits to three Home Depot stores along San Fernando Rd. adjacent to Atwater Village - is this:

Newer Home Depot = Nicer Home Depot

Test my theory by visiting the oldest Home Depot along the corridor - Glendale #649 at 5040 San Fernando Rd. Navigate the cramped parking lot, hunt vainly for assistance, watch a mumbly lumber cutter nearly lose a finger, joust for a cashier, and eventually leave empty-handed in disgust, failing to contribute to the economy.

(My favorite feature of older Home Depots: Bring Your Own Prices. Apparently cashiers have no way of looking them up.)

Then visit the newest Home Depot - Burbank #6654 at 1200 Flower St. - opened January 2006. Let your vehicle revel in vast asphalt. Shield your eyes from gleaming signage. Ward off enthusiastic customer service. And exit dancing with your correctly-priced power tools.

By no means earth-shattering science, my theory flies in the face of the anti-development web site, No Home Depot Coalition. Surmounting obvious grammar issues (I keep seeing flyers for "No Home Depot Coalition Meeting" - hey, just tell us when there actually is one!) the coalition opposes development of the old Kmart at 3150 San Fernando Rd.

They say, "Four Home Depots within eight miles are too many!" I say, "Build 12 as long as they're nicer than #649!" Here's what the coalition wants instead:

"Instead we would have a book store, coffee and juice bars, a CPK or other nice restaurant, an Apple store or other computer retailer, and a fitness club - services that are sorely lacking in our immediate area."

To this one-chain-is-better-than-another snobbery, I strongly reply, "Seven California Pizza Kitchens within seven miles are too many!" Besides, one CPK is as nice as any other.