June 21, 2006

The Home Depot Recency Effect

My new theory - formed by visits to three Home Depot stores along San Fernando Rd. adjacent to Atwater Village - is this:

    Newer Home Depot = Nicer Home Depot
Test my theory by visiting the oldest Home Depot along the corridor - Glendale #649 at 5040 San Fernando Rd. Navigate the cramped parking lot, hunt vainly for assistance, watch a mumbly lumber cutter nearly lose a finger, joust for a cashier, and eventually leave empty-handed in disgust, failing to contribute to the economy.

(My favorite feature of older Home Depots: Bring Your Own Prices. Apparently cashiers have no way of looking them up.)

Then visit the newest Home Depot - Burbank #6654 at 1200 Flower St. - opened January 2006. Let your vehicle revel in vast asphalt. Shield your eyes from gleaming signage. Ward off enthusiastic customer service. And exit dancing with your correctly-priced power tools.

By no means earth-shattering science, my theory flies in the face of the anti-development web site, No Home Depot Coalition. Surmounting obvious grammar issues (I keep seeing flyers for "No Home Depot Coalition Meeting" - hey, just tell us when there actually is one!) the coalition opposes development of the old Kmart at 3150 San Fernando Rd.

They say, "Four Home Depots within eight miles are too many!" I say, "Build 12 as long as they're nicer than #649!" Here's what the coalition wants instead:

"Instead we would have a book store, coffee and juice bars, a CPK or other nice restaurant, an Apple store or other computer retailer, and a fitness club - services that are sorely lacking in our immediate area."

To this one-chain-is-better-than-another snobbery, I strongly reply, "Seven California Pizza Kitchens within seven miles are too many!" Besides, one CPK is as nice as any other.

10 comments:

sherru said...

I still don't want a Home Depot in the old Kmart building at Fletcher and Riverside. I want THE WORLD'S BIGGEST VIDEO GAME DEPOT or something.

badMike said...

You gotta go to the Home Depot at Sunset & St. Andrews (near Western). Worst effin' nightmare store I've ever been to in my life. But go for the experience. One time I was there a trannie in line in front of me was buying equipment for a home enema and some air freshener.

blogger said...

Hmm, how about a Trannie Video Game Depot?

sherru said...

I would go to the trannie video game store like CRAZY. Trannies are notoriously nice people. They've had a tough time of things. NO SERIOUSLY. I saw a whole thing on some salacious local news report about how much the cops hassle the trannies of East of La Brea/Santa Monica Blvd.

atwaterbandit said...

A newer Home Depot store may be "nicer" but for how long?

How long do you think it would take for the proposed Home Depot store on San Fernando / Fletcher to turn into a ****hole like the ones in Cypress and Glendale. I bet not very long...

It's not snobbery Newbie, us Atwater folks just want something better and something we don't already have. Most of us are doing just fine driving a mile or two to the Home Depot in Glendale for our home improvement needs.

blogger said...

I don't know the half-life of Home Depot ****holiness, but how's that vacant Kmart looking these days?

Miles said...

The area is already congested enough. Better use of that space would be for local independently owned stores. Help grow San Fernando -- once one of the most important streets in all of LA -- into a better street. Throw on top of that the already-awful traffic at Fletcher and San Fernando, the eventually-coming LACC campus and another Home Depot will just worsen traffic all the more.

sherru said...

How about a DIFFERENT home improvement store at least? They are nicer at Lowes!

blogger said...

I could get on a pro-Lowes bandwagon. The Lowes Friendliness Effect overrules any Home Depot Recency Effect by far. - AVN

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