Sperm Might Fly Faster on Beverly Blvd.

BLATANTLY SUGGESTIVE HEADLINE replaces crudely clinical headline, "Oscars, traffic and a cup of sperm," in today's Los Angeles Times. The story: a hapless fertility patient tries to get across LA with a warm specimen. From Atwater Village to Beverly Hills, she attempts Hollywood Blvd. during, of all times, Oscar week. "You don't appreciate how easily sperm travels through a vagina until you try to drive it across Los Angeles during Oscar week." 7:54am - "I pull out of our driveway in Atwater Village... Half a mile of Hollywood Boulevard is blocked for the construction of a celebrity bridge..." 8:40am - "Landlocked in front of the Rock 'n' Roll Ralphs..." 8:52am - "I start to cry..." 9:01am - "Tear down a side street. Dead end..." The rest of the story on latimes.com (subscription required, sometimes). Please note that the writer "teaches stand-up at UCLA." She does not teach geography.