How to Play the 'Planet Earth' Drinking Game

RESPECT MOTHER NATURE and get a good buzz at the same time. Watch episodes of the Discovery Channel's miniseries Planet Earth with your favorite libation. Here's how Mrs. Newbie and I play the drinking game:

• Sex! Any time narrator Sigourney Weaver coyly describes an animalistic mating ritual, take a drink.
• Death! A fox scoops up a hatchling for breakfast? A polar bear flops over from starvation? Take a drink.
• History! Every time the show purports to show anything "for the very first time" - baby pandas in the wild, snow leopards on the hunt - take a drink.
• Technology! When Weaver boasts that only a recent innovation could provide the awesome pictures and sounds on your TV, take a drink.
• Time Lapse! Anything sped up to Koyaanisqatsi-like exposures - flower fields suddenly blooming, buffalo herds racing across the plains - enjoy a quick shot.

This game not recommended for Discovery Channel's three-hour marathon viewings. Please watch responsibly.