August 27, 2008

How to Get Escorted Out of a California Casino

Escorted Out of Chumash Casino
STEP ONE: Go to the Chumash Casino Resort in the Santa Ynez Valley.

Step Two: Stop by the hotel guest happy hour next to the casino. (It helps if you're a hotel guest and can produce a happy hour invitation card and/or room key.)

Step Three: Order a glass containing alcohol. Wine, beer, chocolate martini, anything will do.

Step Four: Walk 20 feet to the casino. (It helps if by this point you've forgotten you're not in Las Vegas.)

Step Five: Slowly start to notice how you're the only one in the casino with a drink.

Step Six: Get approached by security guard.

Step Seven: Tell the truth when security guard asks, "Is there alcohol in that glass?" and sheepishly accompany her to the exit while you learn that Chumash Casino is open to ages 18 and up and forbids alcohol.

Step Eight: Stop back later that night, when the casino is packed with people overdosing not on alcohol, but on caffeine from roving coffee carts. Coffee carts!


Miles said...

did you have more than one drink cause you seem to be missing step 6.

AVN said...

Ha! Added step 6.