A Ten-Mile Drive to the Recent Past

REMEMBER WHEN SUSHI and wine bars first became popular? When shops like Merle Norman Cosmetics and Faye's Intimate Apparel populated our small-town centers? It's not too late to return to those days. All you need to do is drive 10 miles northeast of Los Angeles. And never mind the De Lorean. Montrose claims to be an unincorporated area in of Los Angeles County, between Glendale and La Canada Flintridge. But really Montrose is somewhere between Bush 41 and Bush 43. Between Spaghetti Factory and Cheesecake Factory. For the most peaceful transition from 2007 California to 1995 Colorado, take Chevy Chase Drive north through the winding hills of Glendale. Turn left at Descanso Drive, passing Descanso Gardens. Take a moment. Ask yourself, what the hell is this Descanso Gardens place? Why haven't I heard of this? Then continue, left on Verdugo Blvd., under the 2, and a few more blocks into a recent past only imagined by "Old School" and "CHiPs" location scouts. Breathe deep. Try the sushi place. This could catch on! Or just play it safe at Rocky Cola Cafe. Ah, just like that blue-highway vacation in junior high. Only not as bad as you remember.

Heroin for Toddlers

Heroin for Toddlers, originally uploaded by Atwater Village Newbie.

GOOD NEWS IN TIME for Memorial Day Weekend. The city's Griffith Park Recovery blog announces that Shane's Inspiration, a.k.a heroin for toddlers, has re-opened after surviving the recent park fire. This weekend, parents, load 'em up on BBQ and get them to LA's greatest playground. Open in Griffith Park as of May 25, 2007: Autry Museum Bette Davis Picnic Area Bicycle Rental Boy’s Camp (scheduled events only) Crystal Springs Picnic area (scheduled events only) Ferndell south of Red Oak Dr. Ferraro Field Girl's Camp (scheduled events only) Greek Theater (Friday, Saturday, Sunday nights) Griffith Observatory (by shuttle only) Harding Golf Course LA River Bike Path LA Zoo LASUD Magnet School Live Steamers Live Steamers Picnic Area Los Feliz Golf Course Merry Go Round Mineral Wells Picnic Area Park Center Picnic Area Pony Rides Pote Field (scheduled events only) Pump Seven Picnic Areas Ranger Station Riverside Recreation Center Roosevelt Golf Course Shane's Inspiration Sunset Stables (access to Mt. Hollywood Drive only) Trails Cafe Train Rides Travel Town Upper Ferndell Area/Section 9 Wilson Golf Course

When To Talk at the Movies

Friday night at the ArcLight, originally uploaded by stutefish.

INSPIRED BY TWO CHATTY DUDES behind us last night at an Arclight Cinemas showing of "Spiderman 3," I've assembled this helpful list. Too tired of using your "theater" voice? Confused about subtle etiquette differences between a living-room TV set and a 500-seat auditorium? Feel like your $14 ticket comes with more rights than my $14 ticket? Need a change of scenery from AMC Universal CityWalk? Then this list is for you. When To Talk at the Movies (Only for People Sitting Directly Behind Me During Sold-Out Screenings) During previews of coming attractions During opening credits During musical sequences or montages When you recognize - or think you might recognize - an actor To offer what you can remember of the actor's filmography To show how well you can read a particularly interesting word from a subtitle, t-shirt, sign, product or poster To ask for help reading a word from a subtitle, t-shirt, sign, product or poster When you recognize a location or building To warn a character of impending doom To appreciate the setup of an impending comedic event To share excitement over the mention of your city or state To obtain a recap of events during a restroom/concession run To repeat something you found clever or amusing To get someone else to repeat something you didn't hear To guess the next line during a dramatic/comedic pause To rewrite the script more to your liking To transition from laughing loudly to sitting silently again When you're startled - or just tricked into being startled When taking a call When responding to a text message When trying to quiet a baby/child When trying to make a baby/child When you actually are a baby/child On a first date On any subsequent date When kissing/lovemaking scenes make you uncomfortable To wonder about a plot point that is only partially revealed To offer a review of the film To guess the ending before – or as – it happens To prove you knew how it would end To share adulation with a director or star who is not present

Artwater Village Weekend

This weekend, call us ARTwater Village...

Pounder Kone Art Space
3407 Glendale Blvd.
Four Points: African Contemporary
Opening Reception
Jan. 12, 6:00pm

Black Maria Gallery
3137 Glendale Blvd.
11th Commandment
Opening Reception
Jan. 13, 7:00pm

jFerrari Gallery
3015 Glendale Blvd.
Art Through Sports
Artist's Reception
Jan. 13, 6:00pm

Artwater Village Weekend

J Ferrari Gallery, 3015 Glendale Blvd., cranks through another exhibition, Plural Expression 2006, with an opening reception this Saturday, December 9, 6:00pm.

Black Maria Gallery, up the block at 3137 Glendale Blvd., continues its Skip the Mall "black market" exhibit. Gallery hours are Tuesday to Saturday, noon to 6:00pm.

Pounder Kone Art Space, 3407 Glendale Blvd., is showing Francois Cauvin through January 11.

And I'm pressing coffee cup rings onto neon green Post-it notes for an as-yet-untitled exhibition in my new kitchen-based, IKEA-furnished work space.

Anyone I'm forgetting?

Call Us ARTwater Village

One art event per week is usually all we can handle over here in Atwater Village (a.k.a. Far East Hollywood, a.k.a. Tropico Adjacent, a.k.a. Baja Glendale). But this weekend we get two hipster magnets:

CCH Pounder Art
Gallery Re-opening
Pounder Kone Art Space
Friday Sept. 8, 6:00pm
3407 Glendale Blvd.

"Out on the Porch"
Exhibit Opening
jFerrari Gallery
Saturday Sept. 9, 7:00pm
3015 Glendale Blvd.

Read more about Friday's and Saturday's events.