Atwater Chatter: Independence Week Edition

I HEREBY DECLARE that I am willing to sign any petition legally requiring Independence Day to be celebrated on either the first Friday or first Monday of July. Anything but Wednesday. Now, onto news from in and around our little banana-shaped microcosm of Los Angeles: Vince's Market: Now - "One of those rare local family owned markets still in existence here in LA." [Goodgoings] Vince's Market: Then - "Opened in June 1939... the store was purchased by Joseph Caravella and his wife Mabel and named for their son Vince." [Friends of Atwater Village] How To Get Pot. Ted. I mean, POT-TED - "Dedicated to flipping a sad outdoor spot like mine into a happy, chic entertaining mecca." [LA Apartmenttherapy] Sounds of Atwater Village - "Aaron & Paula give listeners a taste of what goes on outside their windows on a daily basis and, folks, it ain't always pretty." [MP3 podcast from StopPopAndRoll] Rent Check! $465, $1,695, $1,850, $2,450, [Craigslist]

East vs. West: Our Celebrities Try to Settle It

MAYBE SOMEONE WHO MOVED to Los Angeles last year can't be considered a guru on where the city splits. That's why for America's birthday I turn to America's experts: celebrities. Here they are, VIPs and sort-of-IPs, in quotes actual and alleged, helping us build the wall: John Cusack - "I never go east of the 405" Lauren Graham - "I get nervous if I get west of La Cienega" Scott Neeson - "You never go east of La Brea" Cari Beauchamp - "Don't go east of La Cienega" Robbi Chong - "Why should we have to go west of Vermont?" Adrian Woolrich - "People say they never go past La Brea" Jade Howe - "Never move east of the 405"

Infiltrating Altadena Country Club

WE HAD TO SEE some fireworks last night. Had to. Big ones. The LAFD-sponsored site, SafeJuly4th.org, listed Altadena Town & Country Club as one of eight hot spots for July 3. Great! Fireworks and a chance to find out where the hell Altadena is. The streets of this suburb of a suburb were packed. Parked cars, lawn chairs, bands of roving teens, all drawn like metal shavings to the country club magnet. Should we resign ourselves to a darkened curb? Or try to get closer? Country Club Parking Lot Guard: You members? Us: No Guard: Friends of members? Us: Umm, yeah. Guard: Down the hill, entrance on the left. We were in. Before us, a smorgasbord of American independence. Literally: the country club put out rows of buffet food, a hosted pie table, freezers of ice cream, a live band and a bar. Little did we know "friends" of members were expected to pay $55.95 each. No one asked us for money. (And we didn't eat.) After a while, one guy gave us the parking guard interrogation. He wanted to who we came with. Mrs. Newbie smartly, vaguely pointed toward the crowded tennis courts, lined with dozens of banquet tables. The Pattersons, she said. (Good thing she didn't say Martinez. Or Chang.) He bought it. We settled on a grassy knoll near the swimming pool. The fireworks started late, well past the promised 9:30 launch. (Or so we overheard from the key party couples on the next blanket.) And the giant tree seemed even more giant this year (or so we heard) and blocked part of the show. Next year, we'll ask the Pattersons to say something about that tree. 13 photos from Altadena Country Club [Flickr]

What the Fuck Do You Have to Do for an 'R' Around Here

THE NEWBIE GOT DINGED for two incidences of "hell," one of "heroin."

This Gilmore Girl, She Is Intrigued By Us

COMING UP IN TOMORROW'S "favorite weekend" column in the LA Times, Lauren Graham kicks it eastside: "I tend to stay on the east side of town - I get nervous if I get west of La Cienega... "I haven't been to Griffith Park since the fire, but it's been scary around here since then. The coyotes are getting really bold... "One of the best places in town for Sunday brunch is here at Alcove Cafe & Bakery. Their eggs are delicious, and so is the bacon... "Although I don't spend my weekends doing spas and beautification - I don't like to waste my time doing personal maintenance - I really have been wanting to go to a new spa called dtox in Atwater Village. That's where the Eastside people are going these days... "Sunday night my sister and I hit Mexico City in Los Feliz for some fantastic Mexican food... "We'll occasionally go for Mexican at Malo if we're with my friends who live even farther east. They're Silver Lake people, and you have to compromise with the Silver Lake people." Darn right you do. Thus completes my circle of fascination with All Things Gilmore, started here 13 months ago with the greatest Newbie celebrity sighting to date.

Not a Hand Fruit

FROM THE LA TIMES countdown to tomato time: "'When will tomatoes come so we can have that luscious, olivey tomato background?' moans Corina Weibel of Canele in Atwater Village. She's dying to pair wedges of assorted heirloom tomatoes, seasoned simply with herbs and shallots and tossed with torn croutons, with crispy-skinned seared snapper, drizzled with a little olive oil and lemon juice."

What/Where Are the 'Five Borroughs' of LA?

THE BLOG OVER AT Silver Lake Gallery Alliance keeps using this phrase, the Five Borroughs. Never mind that "Borroughs" is usually spelled "Boroughs." And never mind that New York City established its own Five Boroughs in 1898. I'm just trying to figure out what/where in the world are the Five Borroughs/Boroughs of Los Angeles? For the first four - based on how artsy Silver Lakers tend to see the world - I guessed Silver Lake, Los Feliz, Echo Park and Atwater Village. The fifth slot goes, according to SLGA's MySpace page, to the "Upper North East." What the hell is that, Glendale? Montrose? San Fernando? Sylmar? I'm all about coming up with new ways to divide the city, but why exclude the rest of LA's art scene? And why the consistent misspelling? Ugh. SLGA's blog is good for sporadic event postings. Might not be the place for neighborhood taxonomy.

A Ten-Mile Drive to the Recent Past

REMEMBER WHEN SUSHI and wine bars first became popular? When shops like Merle Norman Cosmetics and Faye's Intimate Apparel populated our small-town centers? It's not too late to return to those days. All you need to do is drive 10 miles northeast of Los Angeles. And never mind the De Lorean. Montrose claims to be an unincorporated area in of Los Angeles County, between Glendale and La Canada Flintridge. But really Montrose is somewhere between Bush 41 and Bush 43. Between Spaghetti Factory and Cheesecake Factory. For the most peaceful transition from 2007 California to 1995 Colorado, take Chevy Chase Drive north through the winding hills of Glendale. Turn left at Descanso Drive, passing Descanso Gardens. Take a moment. Ask yourself, what the hell is this Descanso Gardens place? Why haven't I heard of this? Then continue, left on Verdugo Blvd., under the 2, and a few more blocks into a recent past only imagined by "Old School" and "CHiPs" location scouts. Breathe deep. Try the sushi place. This could catch on! Or just play it safe at Rocky Cola Cafe. Ah, just like that blue-highway vacation in junior high. Only not as bad as you remember.

Woof, There It Is

DURING THE ATWATER VILLAGE street festival a few weeks back, the neighborhood got a chance to sniff out a new boutique. Now Miles reports: "There's a new doggie boutique and it's on Glendale Blvd. in Atwater Village, which leads me to believe that, at last, gentrification is on the move. The little store sells organic doggie treats, doggie clothes, leashes and such, is decorated with portraits of dogs in clothes and is really just the darn cutest little store ever seen." This might be the same store that once did tricks in Burbank. The shop's Web site says, "reopened in Atwater Village." Woof Dog Boutique

Shameless Google Bait

I MADE UP THIS WORD. But you can use it. Feel free. With any luck, all future Google searches will point back here anyway. dictatutorial, noun: 1. Guidebook for tyrants. "My evil boss must go home every night and study his dictatutorial." UPDATE: It worked!

Benefit of Bilingual Dentistry

WHEN THEY SPEAK SPANISH, I'm pretty sure it's not for me. But when I hear English, I pause the CD player they provide and listen. I listen good. Unfortunately I'll never be able to hear Nick Drake the same again.